Hi my name is Krista. Wife, dog mama, blogger, creative and imperfect person. I’m not a psychologist or wellness expert. However, I’m a very emotional person who loves hard and works hard, but doesn’t sacrifice my belief system or happiness for anyone or thing. In today’s real talk, I’m sharing how to stay true to myself and and stick to my instincts.
I was inspired to write this post after reading this quote “Don’t let a wishbone grow where a backbone should be.”
You know what’s funny? I never thought I was someone who “knows what she wants”. I actually think I’m a very indecisive person, but I’ve quickly come to realize this is with things like what to make for dinner or whether or not to neuter my dog. Ha! When it comes to matters of the heart, mind or backbone, I’m pretty decisive.
This may sound funny, but it was my bridal consultant during my appointment looking for my wedding dress who told me “you are somebody that knows what she wants, I can tell that you came in here knowing what you want.” What’s crazy is I thought I went into that appointment not really knowing what to expect. But as she said that and in retrospect, I realized I did have that little voice in my head that told me what I wanted. In fact, what I wanted that day was the top of one wedding dress and skirt of another, and guess what? The designer made it happen.
So, moral of that story is to listen really closely to your little voice. You may not even realize it’s talking to you, but it’s there. Follow it. Maybe it takes a prayer, quiet moment or some mediation to find it and follow it. What is the worst that can happen? At the end of the day, you’ll never regret doing what your heart led you to do. I never have.
Now, that was a scenario which was a little more fluffy and romantic, but what about particular situations where others are involved and feelings can get hurt? Although I’ve never let anyone walk over me or belittle me, just because it’s never been in my character, I have had my fair share of people who I let be insensitive/selfish/unappreciative etc. to me. (Don’t we all from time to time? Unfortunately.) Can I be completely transparent? I’m in my mid twenties and it hasn’t been until recently that I’ve begun listening to my head and formed a backbone with those type people and decided that my voice would be heard. Respectfully and compassionately, but sternly. Because you know what? I’ve learned that you can’t let the fear of someone’s reaction who most likely never hears the words “no” or “that wasn’t nice” or “I disagree with you”, stop you from doing what you think is best for your peace of mind.
You know what else is ok? If you don’t want to talk about something, don’t. Some people like confrontation, others don’t. And some people want to “talk things through”, and others want to take a path of “just moving on.” Whichever person you are, I think we all just need to respect other’s personal way of handling situations and understand that everyone is different. Having our “side of the story” heard isn’t the be all, end all. I believe whole-heartedly that if we all just took a forgiving and compassionate path with each other, moving onward and upward together would be much easier and softer on the heart. It’s not forgetting about the past, it’s about putting life, happiness and peace above everything else.
My last thoughts are on staying true to yourself have to do with the professional aspect of our lives. I think we all have times in our careers where we are met with the decision to whether or not to put our happiness and our beliefs above things we sometimes give too much worth to. Whether it’s the good graces of a boss or person of seniority at work, or a lucrative project or high-paying paycheck, nothing is worth having our happiness and peace put on the back burner for. At least I don’t think so.
I have personally turned down some great-paying collaborations and plenty of packages of gifted merchandise, because something doesn’t fully align with my belief system or resonate with me wholeheartedly. I also have decided to not work with certain brands, because of the way business and conversation was conducted. It’s not easy, it’s actually hard and a little nerve-racking to put my foot down. I can totally be a weenie sometimes. But as I mentioned before, you’ll never regret doing what your heart led you to do.
How do you make sure you stay true to yourself? What ways do you respect others, but always make your peace and happiness a priority? I would love to hear 🙂